The GTA Game
I've been thinking about money a lot lately, and honestly, I'm confused as hell. Like, really confused. Everyone around me seems to have it figured out - work hard, earn money, buy stuff, be happy. But I'm sitting here questioning the whole damn thing.
You know that feeling when you're playing GTA Vice City with unlimited money cheats? Everything's unlocked, you can buy whatever you want, do whatever you want. But after an hour or two, I always ended up turning off the game. It became boring. Pointless.
This got me thinking: what if real life is the same? What if I actually earn unlimited money? Would life become boring too? Would I just turn off the game?
Everyone Defines "Rich" Differently (And That's the Problem)
I keep asking myself: who are the rich people? What makes someone rich?
Take my college friends S and N from our health consciousness group. For them, being rich means having perfect health - hitting the gym every day, eating clean, having that perfect sleep schedule. They'd rather spend ₹5000 on organic food and supplements than on a fancy dinner. To them, a healthy body is wealth that money can't buy.
For most people, it's physical stuff - cars, houses, expensive watches. For others, it's mental peace. Some say it's having a loving family. But for most people I know, including me, we just think it's money. Cold, hard cash.
But is that really it? Is it only about money? I don't even know what rich means to me.
The Prison Sentence I Signed Up For
I'm still young, but I keep thinking about this: I have maybe 30-50 years of working life ahead of me. That's it. The net span is just 50 years. I'll spend these years earning money so I can enjoy the remaining years of my life.
But here's what's messing with my head - I want to earn money today, but I honestly don't know what I'll do when I have sufficient money. What even is "sufficient"? Like, what's the number? What's the goal?
The Question That Haunts me
Can money ever be sufficient? This question haunts me.
I look around and see people who have good money, and they're still stressed about earning more. My friend got a promotion and a salary hike, now he wants an even bigger one. Even S and N, despite being obsessed with health, still worry about affording their expensive organic lifestyle.
It feels like a never-ending cycle. No matter how much I earn, will I ever feel like it's enough?
I'm Working Towards a Goal I Can't Even See
The weird part is, I'm actively trying to earn money - doing MBA to get a good job maybe, or to learn something, but the ultimate aim is money. I stress about my career, I think about investments, placements, apps. But when I really think about it, I don't have a clear picture of what I'll do when I have "enough."
Will I travel? Will I buy a house? Will I become like S and N and invest everything in my health? Will I just sit and relax? I have no idea. I'm literally earning money without knowing what I'm earning it for.
The Truth That Scares Me More Than Being Broke
Sometimes I feel like people are more important to me than money. Like, what if I had all the money in the world but no one to enjoy it with? What if I had enough money but my favorite people were mad at me? I would never be able to sleep peacefully. What's the whole point then?
I keep thinking - would I rather be broke but surrounded by people who love me, or rich but alone? The answer seems obvious, but then why am I still chasing money like it's the most important thing?
Even watching S and N, they're healthiest people I know, but they're happiest when we're all hanging out together, not when they're alone with their perfect meal prep.
The Confession I'm Too Scared to Make Out Loud
The truth is, I'm lost. I know I need money to survive and be comfortable. But beyond that basic level, I have no clue what I'm aiming for.
I'm scared that I'll spend the next 30 years chasing money, only to realize I never figured out what I actually wanted to do with it. I'm scared of becoming that GTA player with unlimited money and nothing meaningful to do.
Maybe being confused is normal. Maybe everyone is just as lost as I am, but they're better at pretending they have it all figured out.
For now, I'll keep studying, working and earning, but I really need to start thinking about what I actually want from life beyond just "more money." Because honestly, I don't want my life to become like that boring GTA game with unlimited cheats.
If You're Reading This...
Yeah I know no one is reading this. These are some random thoughts that I had now and just put here. If you are reading it, you might know me. Let's have a discussion about it sometime ;
Peace, Pulkit (Pulket)